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Feb. 14th, 2010 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
searingedrockI know what it is now. I know why people age. You’re 17 right, you’re sitting on your porch step, doing nothing special, talking on the phone with your girl about the party later that night. You’re talking about what you’ll wear because you don’t have a job, you’re still in school, you don’t even know if your mother will let you go and you may have to sneak out. Those things are inconsequential, the key things here are:
- You’re not aware, as you sit, of your knees smooth and tanned, and legs all curvy lines and fresh skin, perched over dirt and grass by the back step
- or your tattered shirt, arms and shoulders poking out like smooth young twigs
- You’re not thinking about the future, at all
You don’t think about it because you just know it will be glorious, it is written, it is a given. You are aware of your body young and lithe and powerful, you stare back at a face smooth and seamless in the mirror, you apply shimmer over your face and neck and gleam in the light like a goddess. The sun shines only for you and the wind blows over you just so, and when you’re hungover the next day it’s just part of it.
And slowly as years pass you’re aware of some kind of waxing and waning, some kind of build up, like a clogged sink. You’re the same as you always were but somehow things aren’t so pretty, including you. You look the same but you feel different. You begin to look backward instead of pacing forward. You’re afraid of looking at yourself because you can’t see beyond but you have a feeling it might be dark.
Here is where you become, instead of thinking of things to come. Here is where you stand. Instead of rushing forward or looking back assume yourself and, so positioned, survey your surroundings from this summit because this is where you have been heading all along. Believe.
- You’re not aware, as you sit, of your knees smooth and tanned, and legs all curvy lines and fresh skin, perched over dirt and grass by the back step
- or your tattered shirt, arms and shoulders poking out like smooth young twigs
- You’re not thinking about the future, at all
You don’t think about it because you just know it will be glorious, it is written, it is a given. You are aware of your body young and lithe and powerful, you stare back at a face smooth and seamless in the mirror, you apply shimmer over your face and neck and gleam in the light like a goddess. The sun shines only for you and the wind blows over you just so, and when you’re hungover the next day it’s just part of it.
And slowly as years pass you’re aware of some kind of waxing and waning, some kind of build up, like a clogged sink. You’re the same as you always were but somehow things aren’t so pretty, including you. You look the same but you feel different. You begin to look backward instead of pacing forward. You’re afraid of looking at yourself because you can’t see beyond but you have a feeling it might be dark.
Here is where you become, instead of thinking of things to come. Here is where you stand. Instead of rushing forward or looking back assume yourself and, so positioned, survey your surroundings from this summit because this is where you have been heading all along. Believe.
